Posted in Sharing

Communication in Relationships

In any relationship communication is the most important piece that brings unity. With any relationship there is always ups and downs. Those ups and downs come seemingly without provocation, nor are they rarely recognized for what they are as they happen. This brings inconsistency and confusion as well as hurt and remorse.

When I was drinking and using it was easy to get through the ups and downs because I can just drink more. Now that I’m sober, I struggle with communication gaps. I have found such a deep intimacy in my relationships with people in Alcoholics Anonymous that I simply crave similar experiences in my other relationships. With those in the Program, I have the ability to have intimacy in the Mental, Emotional and Spiritual sense.

I cannot hold back who I am and be content. I need to share all of me as often as possible. I find myself reaching out to others in the Program that I can share with that I know I can trust. 2019 was a giant year of growth for me in the emotional sense but I’m still far from being healed. I know I have a lot of work to do and I am diligent with that work. I’ve reached a point in my life where I am not interested in one-sided relationships.

I am elated to know that I can call somebody up that I’ve only known for a couple of months and share any emotion, any mental thought or any spiritual idea with a nearly complete stranger and be comfortable in that trust. To be able to open up and know that someone isn’t judging you or is going to criticize you or make fun of you or be hurt by it. To realize it and know that in the sense of physical intimacy, that is off limits, and can never be explored, but in the emotional, mental and spiritual sense, anything goes.

The reasons I told myself that I drank for so many years was related to that sense of distance, that indescribable “alone-ness” that comes from being dishonest and trying to manipulate everyone around me to get my own way. I told myself may things to be able to live with that. I know today that they were “rational-lies”; excuses. Not putting alcohol and drugs into my body today leaves me wanting something else. It leaves me craving intimacy in my relationships.

I want to share everything with everyone. I want to be “Nude” in the spiritual, mental, and emotional sense (physical is off limits, as I am married).

Let me expand on this thought to give you an idea of what I mean:

EMOTIONAL NUDITY

  • The emotional nude is that emotional closeness that places us in an authentic way with others, it gives life to deep emotions and feelings
  • It is that intimacy that makes us share what we are, makes us “feel at home” being together
  • Stripping ourselves of fears and anxieties: The emotional nude is a meeting for few people
  • An individual can also communicate through the soul
  • The emotional nude is an eternal instant where our souls are naked from any mask
  • People have no armor that protects against external blows, and are ready to externalize our being
  • The emotional nude is a time to examine and understand our internal conflicts with another soul
  • When people reach the emotional nude, they seek more to love than to be loved
  • When people reach the emotional nude, they trust each other completely with any and all feelings

MENTAL NUDITY

  • The mental nude is that emotional closeness where all thoughts can be shared without judgment
  • It is that intimacy that gives us the confidence to be wrong and open to what others see as being right
  • Stripping ourselves of inhibitions and fear of judgements: The mental nude is a safe place to bond
  • An individual can also communicate through the voice and communication becomes the essential ingredient and is frequently the only one
  • The mental nude is a present moment space where our minds can be unified
  • Joined together, the barriers of insecurity fall, and new ideas harmonize togetherness
  • The mental nude is a time to be open, honest and willing allows transparency and clear in speech
  • When people reach the mental nude, they seek more to understand than to be understood
  • When people reach the mental nude, they trust each other completely with any and all thought, ideas and imaginings, regardless of how logical they may appear to be in the mind they developed in

SPIRITUAL NUDITY

  • The spiritual nude is that soul-bond of closeness where all concepts can be shared and appreciated as it relates to the individual sharing them
  • It is humility that gives us the confidence to take action that will heal and comfort the soul
  • Stripping ourselves of other people’s opinions: The spiritual nude is a place where each individual can pursue a connection to the Source that provided and sustains life
  • An individual can communicate through prayer and meditation, as they become the essential ingredients in a healing of the spirit
  • The spiritual nude is a constant space where “the more the merrier” allows for unique and mind-blowing exploration
  • Unified effort and experience become critical in understanding how others succeeded in clearing out the blockage that was saturating their connection with their Source
  • The spiritual nude is a time to be true to ourselves and explore deeper meaning to seemingly “trivial” occurrences, searching for meaning
  • When people reach the spiritual nude, they seek more to comfort than to be comforted
  • The deepest intimacy is just when two souls talk to each other about what they truly believe and share their plan of action in how they will carry out those beliefs

Christopher G.

Author:

AA Group that focuses on the 5th Tradition. Meets weekly on Saturday at 9:30 am EST. Zoom ID: 823 5985 8994 Password: New2AA

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