All of the years I’ve suffered from fears and said what in the hell did I do?
The train in my brain spins circles, insane and wonders Hey what’s wrong with you?
Numbing the real, not wanting to feel, the emotions that seeth in my gut
Then alcohol came, turned into my game and helped me get out of my rut.
The demon brew, well, it turned on me too and wanted to take me away.
Tried putting it down, the whirlwind I’d found but no matter how wrong it would stay.
Then came the day when battered and frayed the misery had taken its toll.
The demon had won and it was no longer fun and I found I was losing my soul.
It was time to get real, no matter the feel and surrender to that which I knew.
Too admit to myself it had always been me, all those years that I believed it was you.
Self seeking fears, drowning in tears of selfish and ego, I know.
The will, I thought mine had grown selfish with time and I knew that I had to let go.
Surrendering myself, to get something else to comfort and lead me along.
The peace that I get, at times, I don’t fret and try to stay honest and strong.
Rigorous honesty I’m told, that it takes and sadly sometimes only few.
Listening to truth that it’s not about me, that I need make it all about you.
Ginny A.
Early Sobriety Group 