Scratching and clawing to regain control. Sliding so deeply into that hole. The hole I’ve been trying to fill all along with people and booze and anything wrong.
So many days have passed into years, fighting to make myself normal, no fears. When finally that life had taken me down and scattered my dreams, smashed my hopes to the ground.
Then something that’s greater than me, jerked me up. Throw out the bottle, smashing the cup. Part of my soul knew that this was the way and you told me to fall to my knees and to pray.
That hole, it still beckons for ways to be filled, with people and money or my ego’s strong will. The key to a life free from fear and the self, it comes from that Power, not booze, sex, or wealth.
Daily I ask to be free from the self and pray that my day’s filled with calm, peace, and health. Turning things over again thru the day for the Power to fill.up.that hole, that, I pray…today…