All feelings are okay, but not all behaviors are. This is the basic guiding principle for our emotional lives. “Emotional fluency” is the ability to be in touch with whatever we are feeling inside and able to communicate those sensations to ourselves—and others—in ways that are life enhancing rather than destructive.
We develop this capacity for emotional fluency gradually, starting in childhood, as we learn to identify and name certain bodily sensations. We then expand the vocabulary we use to express the continuum of each core feeling. Using “I” statements, followed by a feeling word, helps us refine our ability to take responsibility and make these internal sensations our own. I feel scared when I see you drinking so much. I feel upset and angry with myself when I mess up.
Mood storms teach us about the ever-changing tempestuous nature of our emotional life. We all go through times when our emotions seem to have us in their grasp, more than we are having them. Through all these developmental phases, we learn to experience, recognize, name, and then express our internal experience to others. Addictions commonly interrupt this growth and tend to leave us with less mature skills in identifying and revealing our inner states. Sobriety allows us reclaim what we have been missing.
Whatever I am feeling is valid; how I choose to express it needs healthy boundaries.
Tania M. will be 40 years
sober on 12/28/20!!!
On 12/29/20, at Noon EST she will be sharing her story and the “Mandarin High-Noon” Group from Jacksonville, FL.
Come and join us!
Zoom ID: 723 8773 1471
What does Sobriety mean to me? It means for the first time in 15 years having true freedom. Freedom from the bottle that enslaved me. Freedom from not being able to handle everyday life. Freedom from feeling the need to control every aspect of my life but still failing at that. Freedom from misery. Freedom from hating myself.
Being Sober has given my life back. I was enslaved by my need to drink. I would wake up everyday looking forward to the next time I was going to put the poison back in my body. It was the only time I ever felt like I was my true self. It was the only time I ever felt like not being in control was acceptable.
I was not able to deal with ordinary things daily. One small thing would happen that was out of my control and that would make me want to drink. Not being in control was a problem for me. However, I found a solution to that problem, which was the bottle. The bottle did not give me any control, but it allowed me to not care if I was in control.
Drinking was the only time that I could not look in the mirror and think about how much of a piece of shit I was. It allowed me to become loose and not care about anything, for a while. But eventually that quit working too. At that point I hated myself and was destroying my body. I would have the shakes for days after a bad bender, but I knew I could turn back to my tried and faithful solution, my good pal Jack and Stolichnaya.
Being Sober means, I am no longer controlled by my impulses and my everyday need to avoid my problems. It means that I am willing to let God be in control. It means I can turn to my higher power, when things are out of my control and know that I can handle anything with his help. Sobriety means I am able to be an asset to my family.
I can now wake up for the first time in 15 years looking forward to my day. I no longer require the poison which guided my life because God is now guiding my life. I look in the mirror and I see value. I see someone who has experienced amazing things in life and has a lot to offer others. I love myself and I love having a spiritual toolkit to approach life.
Sobriety is true freedom. It is a spiritual way of life that allows me to a temporary reprieve from the need to drink.
Dustin S. – Early Sobriety Group
The National P.I. and C.P.C. Group meeting is Saturday at 10:00 am PDT.
This group is made up of past and present Public Information, CPC committee members, and A.A. members passionate about the Primary Purpose.
Our sole interest is carrying the Primary Purpose message to the public square, the Internet. Finding, creating, offering solutions for all A.A. groups.
This is a meeting to inform where we are and where we are headed, or where you want us to head.. What’s next for helping out the groups.